I discovered an old drawing of Gussie’s in my writing folder this morning while looking for inspiration. Then it occurred to me that his drawing could be my source of inspiration. I really love Gussie’s drawings. We have piles of them stashed in drawers in closets and boxes in the basement.
First, I’m wondering why I stuck this particular drawing in my folder six or so months ago. I’m guessing because it’s a drawing of Gussie and me. I’m always fascinated by his representations of himself and his family and friends. These drawings make me think about what’s going on in his head that I’m not privy to. Are his drawings an expression of what he can’t yet comprehend? Or, are they windows to things he knows but can’t verbalize? Or, quite possibly, it’s just a drawing.
I notice Gussie drew himself bigger than me. He included his freckles, which are hardly visible, but pop out from time to time. I like to tickle them with my finger and count them out loud until we’re both laughing.
Gussie has a belly button, but I don’t. He has a penis, but I don’t. For a long time, everyone had penises. There are many drawings of me with a penis. So, this drawing feels significant like he’s separated himself and realized that we are not the same person; that not everyone is him.
I like that we’re smiling, and I think I might have a tail? My nickname in our family is Caht.
Alas, we don’t have any arms, which has been a common feature in his drawings from the beginning. My husband had a theory about it, which I can’t recall. He’s a therapist. Do you see where I get it from!
I’m not sure why we don’t have arms, but I like this idea…
Arms are for doing things and getting things done. Maybe in Gussie’s pictures we’re not doing anything. Maybe we’re the happiest when we’re just being together.